Has anyone ever asked you to pray for them ?

I’m always surprised whenever I’m asked. I guess I’m a bit surprised that anyone would believe I have built up favor points from above.

However, prayers are not simple. Comedian Kathleen Madigan explains it best when she points out that unlike Southern Christians that claim a personal relationship with Jesus, Catholics are told not to be bothering Jesus until we have gone through the proper steps first.

Step #1 Guardian Angels
Start with your Guardian Angels who are like the Secret Service. A guardian’s job is to protect and guide you 24/7 and field all low level prayer requests.

Step #2 Patron Saints
Next would be a Patron Saint. Catholics have a Patron assignment for just about everything you can dream of. We keep this squad of protectors very busy. They even have their own web site with an alphabetized directory by assignment, check out this link if you need a patron.
https://www.catholic.org/saints/patron.php?letter=S.

Here’s one I like ….Anthony of Padua is assigned to “Asses” which I’m guessing is a donkey although it isn’t actually spelled out. If I ever make it to sainthood you can be sure I’ll end up being a relief pitcher for him with an expanded role as patron saint of Proctologists.

Step # 3 The Virgin Mother Mary
This is alway the trickiest step in the process. Going to someone’s mother to ask for a favor is like taking a meeting with Don Corleone on his daughters wedding day. She’s not gonna refuse to help but if Mary has to speak to her son…. it kind of comes off like maybe you are saying he is falling down on the job. No one likes that.

Pray Direct To Jesus: Dear Jesus, I need your help. I’m not just asking for myself. I’m asking for every card carrying member of Costco. I keep telling myself that I’m only going to get fresh fruit and vegetables…and maybe some of the great deals on golf balls, shorts and shirts etc… and after a few laps around the cashier rings up $250. I have spoken to my guardian angel about helping me but honestly all she does is remind me not to forget the Costco $1.50 all beef hot dog and Pepsi on the way out. I suppose your mother has probably mention this to you already but my prayer is for a Costco Patron Saint. If you feel it is too specialized a position but maybe he could also cover Amazon, BJ’s, Best Buy, WallMart, Target, Home Depot and Lowes too.

Jesus, like I said before I’m not asking for myself. My prayer is for all the senior citizens like me that take life in their hands navigating both the parking lot and the aisles of Costco. Help us please …we need someone to direct our Costco prayers and traffic complaints to while we spend our days in God’s waiting room.